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Dr. Masha Petrova
The Art of Dealing with People
15 December 2009

Technical people generally don't easily adapt to being good salespeople. When a technical person takes on a customer-facing role as a support engineer, there are a whole lot of new skills required. Dr. Petrova relates how the experience of a change in job gave her a new respect for the skills of sales and marketing.

Dr. Masha Petrova will also be presenting a free webinar on this subject on January 21st – places are limited - reserve yours here.

A few years ago, I was sitting in my cubicle staring intently at my computer screen. I was working for an engineering software company, and have been trying to figure out why a subroutine in the software that my company was developing, kept crashing. I mostly worked on numerical engineering research, but every once in a while, my projects would involve writing and de-bugging code.

I enjoyed those times because I could sit uninterrupted in my cubicle for hours at a time, living in my own little microcosm of numerical algorithms. But that day, my peaceful bubble was about to burst. The Sales Guy infiltrated the personal space of my cubicle. “Dr. Petrova!! Heeeeeey!! How are things?!!” – he roared with such enthusiasm, you’d think he just downed a whole bottle of Prozac.

Every few days, the company Sales Guy would make his rounds through the engineering department, interrupting work, shooting the breeze, and in general spreading the blessings of his persona throughout the R&D department. We would all politely smile, answer his questions, and try to make small talk, while secretly wondering how the heck the Sales Guy manages to get paid for doing absolutely nothing.

As it turned out, there was quite a bit to learn from the Sales Guy. Fast-forward three years. I have joined the sales and marketing team as a support engineer because I discovered an extrovert side in me that enjoyed working with people.  The problem was that all of those years in front of the computer screen, gave me little time to practice my people skills. Those skills happened to be crucial if you need to work with, well, people.

Even if you are not planning on working in sales, mastering the art of dealing with people is essential to any professional career.  Does that mean that you have to force yourself to make small talk with everyone at your company instead of finishing a project before a deadline? Absolutely not. There are much classier and more comfortable ways to bring out the extrovert in you. I would like to share some of the lessons that I learned from the Sales Guy in my journey of mastering the art of dealing with people, adapted for technical professionals.

Lesson #1: Get a Mirror

After the first couple of weeks of working for the “dark side” (clever term bestowed upon the sales and marketing by the engineers), the Sales Guy, and now my boss, walked into my office. “Masha,” he said lightheartedly, “do you often make people mad?”

By that time I figured out that sales people have a different way of talking to you, so I was not instantly offended.

“Not that often,” I said reluctantly. “Why?”

“Well,” said the Sales Guy, still beaming, “do you know what your face looks like when you talk to people?”

He stumped me with that one. That was a weird question even for a Sales Guy. “It looks like…I am…in deep thought..?” I said uncertainly.

“It looks scary,” said the Sales Guy, smiling as if he was watching baby bunnies frolic in the meadow. “If you want to have any hope of relating to people, get a mirror and put it on your desk. When you’re talking to anyone who comes into your office, glance into the mirror and see what the other person is seeing.”

With that he was gone and I was left wondering why in the world I left my cozy engineering R&D position for this. In the spirit of learning, I decided to give the mirror method a shot and was amazed at what my face was telling people. The first time I glanced into the mirror, while I was talking to a coworker, I saw the face of an axe murderer staring back at me.

Up to that point, I was sure that no one cared about what my facial expressions looked like, but once I started using the mirror and adjusting my facial expressions, the results were astonishing. People were more willing to talk to me, give me needed information and in general seemed to like me better.  Being aware of what your body language and facial expressions are saying is an important first step in relating to people.

Lesson #2: Take them to lunch

One of the first things that the Sales Guy recommended I do in order to develop my extrovert skills, was to start taking people to lunch. That turned out to be a great learning experience for me. Many of us working in the technical fields perceive spending a lunch hour with people who are not our immediate friends as an hour wasted. In reality, you can learn more in that one hour, than during many more hours in front of a computer.

The first few lunches with various people in my company were a bit challenging, but practice makes perfect. It became easier and aside from learning more about each coworker, I was able to gather information that was useful to my job as well as establish myself as someone who was genuinely interested in people. That, in turn, encouraged others to help me, when I needed information or resources. I was forced to bring out the extrovert in me during each of those lunches and before I knew it speaking to random people at conferences and professional events was a snap.

If you are an introvert looking to grow yourself as a professional, one of the first things you should to be working on is training your internal extravert to come out at your command. Asking various people at your place of work to have lunch with you is a great way to start. It might be uncomfortable and probably even scary at first. I recommend starting with some fellow programmers, IT people, or engineers at your company. Chances are they will be even more introverted than you, which would make for a comfortable and quiet lunch hour.

Then move on to the sales and marketing guys. Take this to be an exercise. You don’t have to try to be their best friend, but you are looking to learn how to best deal with different types of people.

Lesson #3: It’s not your Thesis Defense – stop proving how smart you are

During the second week of my sales career, the Sales Guy told me that I will be sitting in on a call with a potential client. I was terrified and thrilled at the same time. Finally, a chance to showcase my brilliance!

During the call I tried to answer every question the potential client had in gruesome detail. I was so proud of how well I was doing. The Sales Guy kept shooting me dirty looks, but I figured it was because he was just overwhelmed with my knowledge. The call ended and I was thrilled. “That was a great call!” I said.

“Yeah,” mumbled the Sales Guy, “we’ll never hear from him again.” “Why?” I said, appalled.

“Tell me something,” said the Sales Guy,” how big is this engineer’s group?”

“I don’t know. He didn’t say.”

“Can you tell me what the role of this engineer in his department is?”

“Well, I didn’t ask.”

“Can you at least tell me if they can afford our software?”

How am I supposed to know that?” I said irritated. “He didn’t tell me!”

“Interesting,” said the Sales Guy. “You just spend an hour of company time on this call and did not gather a single piece of information that would actually help us make a sale. In addition, the engineer doesn’t think that you care about him or the problems he is trying to solve.”

“Why?” I was taken aback, “I gave him a lot of information about our software!”

“Yes. You took up his time to demonstrate how smart you were instead of asking him questions that would show him that you are interested in helping him solve his problem.”

The engineer never called back. Trying to prove how smart you are during conversations makes people not want to talk to you. People like to feel that they are being heard. Ask a question and then be quiet and just listen. Figure out a way to be interested in what others are telling you. You might have to fake it in the beginning; especially if you are not that interested in a particular conversation topic. Beware, faking it all the time does not work, others will be able to tell and will be offended.

If you would like to better master the art of dealing with people, take some cues from my Sales Guy. Be aware of what your face and body language is saying to people, practice bringing out your inner extrovert, and stop focusing on your own brilliance. With those skills you will be well on your way to a more prosperous career.



This article has been viewed 9169 times.
Dr. Masha Petrova

Author profile: Dr. Masha Petrova

Masha V. Petrova holds a Ph.D. in aerospace engineering, is a founder and CEO of MVP Modeling Solutions, and has a weekly blog on a variety of technical and entertaining topics. Her current courses on engineering modeling and simulation, as well as topics for invited talks can be found at www.mvpmodelingsolutions.com.

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Subject: Don't under-estimate the so-called soft skills
Posted by: roundand (view profile)
Posted on: Thursday, December 17, 2009 at 7:09 AM
Message: Very true points, very practical tips. Point #3 is certainly one I have had difficulty with in the past.

Subject: Number 3
Posted by: jgardner04 (view profile)
Posted on: Thursday, December 17, 2009 at 9:41 AM
Message: Dr. Petrova, Thank you for writing this article. I enjoyed it very much.

I work with many technical people and the hardest thing for most of them to overcome is point #3 in your article. Many times it takes an experience like yours for most people to understand that while they are proving how smart they are they tend to be belittling others in the process.

Subject: Importance of focusing on the other person.
Posted by: timothyawiseman@gmail.com (view profile)
Posted on: Friday, December 18, 2009 at 1:13 PM
Message: Excellent advice, especially on the part about helping the other person solve their problems when you are trying to sell them something.

Subject: Customer Service
Posted by: suzannemeyer@delta.com (not signed in)
Posted on: Friday, December 18, 2009 at 5:17 PM
Message: Great points, not only for technical people but, anyone that deals with 'Customer Service' in all aspects, internal and external. Thank you for sharing your story.

Subject: well said
Posted by: michael (view profile)
Posted on: Sunday, December 20, 2009 at 9:31 AM
Message: I couldn't have said it better myself!

Just one more point to add: make sure you are at your best before going on sales rounds. If you approach someone in the wrong frame of mind, you could just end up making things worse. In that case, you might be better off not talking to them at all.


Subject: Great Advice
Posted by: saineymd (view profile)
Posted on: Monday, December 21, 2009 at 8:29 AM
Message: Thanks Doc. All excellent points. Now if I could only get my inner extrovert to come out!

Sainey

Subject: Was this about the general technical pool?
Posted by: randyvol (view profile)
Posted on: Monday, December 21, 2009 at 2:13 PM
Message: Your introduction begins with this point...
"Technical people generally don't easily adapt to being good salespeople".
Yet the bulk of the article seems to be points learned from your personal experiences in 'crossing the chasm'. They may be good points, but I question how you arrive at the point you make in the beginning of the article.

I'd like to just offer some other alternative data points, drawn from my tenure as a Product Manager on a Unix SVR4 program for a large computer manufacturer back in the '90s. I found that by and large, our engineers were some of the best people to put in front of customers (as opposed to our sales & marketing people).

I found that in general our engineers knew more about the problem spaces our customers faced, and knew more about how to solve them than our 'sales and marketing' people - they seemed to only know that their products were not identical to their competitors, and that therefore they could not sell them. In other words, they were not as knowledgeable as our engineers regarding either our customers or our products.

I'm not prepared to draw and general conclusions from this experience; because it is isolated to one product program in one company.

I am, however, prepared to say I do not agree with your conclusion that, "Technical people generally don't easily adapt to being good salespeople"; and am not clear on how you came to that conclusion based on the content of your article.

randy

Subject: Great post!
Posted by: Babette Burdick (not signed in)
Posted on: Monday, December 21, 2009 at 4:18 PM
Message: Masha, You have really hit the nail on the head. And I've got news for you, it's hard for the Sales Guys, too - since they are all sterotyped as being Motor Mouthed folks who are overly-sugared. The most important thing about exposing your sales side is to do it authentically... and yes, not defend your thesis! The thing I dread the most is missing my mouth when I take folks out to lunch. Need to work on that in the New Year!

Best.

Subject: reply Was this about the general technical pool?
Posted by: Otto (not signed in)
Posted on: Monday, December 21, 2009 at 4:57 PM
Message: It seems to me Randy, that your team crossed over and they had not realzed it. Good for them and you!

There was that article also about Asperger's Syndrome and the inordiante ammount of software developers who display such traits.

So it depends on the individual, but I can see how one get defensive about generalizations and probably should.

I suppose we must apply what applies to us.

Subject: Re: Was this about the general technical pool?
Posted by: Andrew Clarke (view profile)
Posted on: Tuesday, December 22, 2009 at 6:48 AM
Message: The comment...
"Technical people generally don't easily adapt to being good salespeople"
..was editorial comment, from me.

All Simple-Talk articles are introduced by a short paragraph by the Simple-Talk editorial team. It is in a box, which I thought made this clear, especially as it refers to the author in the 'third-person'.

I'd say that it would be unwise to assume that one can switch from a technical role to a customer-facing role without re-training; It isn't easy for most of us, as I know from experience. Perhaps you mis-read the intro as saying 'Technical people generally can't adapt to being good salespeople'? Nobody is saying that

I've certainly met very few technical people who have made the switch successfully without considerable effort and training, and getting rid of some in-grained habits and practices.

Subject: Why We Have Failed as a Society
Posted by: BuggyFunBunny (view profile)
Posted on: Tuesday, December 22, 2009 at 8:50 AM
Message: And now for something completely different.

"Dealing with People", "Working with people", "people skills", et al have long been code for the truth: "persuading people to do that which is to your benefit, and not theirs". The (American, anyway) Used Car Salesman is the archetype. Whatever the depiction, the Sales Guy has only one criterion of success: Get the Sale (and lock the prospect in as a Maintenance Customer, with commission of course, for years). It doesn't matter whether the product solves the prospect's problem, or not. It just doesn't matter. That's the geeks' problem, from the Sales Guy's point of view. There is always sufficient disclaimers in the contract (have you read a M$ EULA recently???) to protect the Sales Guy's commission. The scientist/engineer has a different value system, generally to build a Better Mousetrap. If s/he is successful at the science or engineering, in any case. There is a reason they don't want prospects talking to the engineers.

The Sales Guy depicted here is a caricature compared to any I have known; this Sales Guy is a parody of that Used Car Salesman. I have known many software Sales Guys, and they didn't behave that way. What they did do, to a wo/man, was both bend the capabilities of the software on sale to the perceived problem of the prospect, and promise that any "gaps" could be filled for just a few dollars by the crack coders on staff, all while revealing as little as possible about how the software actually works and speaking in a Serious and Knowledgeable Way.

Fact is, a Sales Guy is not measured by the ability to sell a Better Mousetrap (such folks are called Order Takers), but rather to move lots of The Worst Mouse Trap Ever Devised (long since amortized, and thus cost free). Now, that's a Real Sales Guy. "Glengarry Glen Ross" is closer to the truth about being a Sales Guy.

Contrast with (from the prospect's point of view): would you _really_ negotiate with your surgeon on the best approach to removing a tumour? You may decide whether to do it or not, or your Health provider more likely will decide. But you're not (one hopes) going to impose your ignorance of neurosurgery, just because you're the customer. You are ignorant. Yet, in this technical world, we cede (readily) to the ignorant customer ("but why don't you use xml in your system???") and Sales Guy.

There is a reason the world is in the loo, and it is that the ignorant with the cash are re-defined as smart (better equipped to make decisions) just because they have the cash. You wouldn't be stupid enough to do that when it's your brain under the knife, but perfectly willing to do that to your business organization.

Just in case the implications aren't clear, the Great Recession was caused by Sales Guys, not engineers. You really shouldn't want to go there.

Subject: Hey - didn't meant to make anyone angry
Posted by: randyvol (view profile)
Posted on: Tuesday, December 22, 2009 at 1:22 PM
Message: Let me clarify my point. I read an article; that article has Dr. Masha Petrova as the author. I simply lifted the opening sentence which I was taught in 'elementary school' should set the tone of what one is writing about.

I then went on to point out only that in my experience, different from the author's experience; sofware developers on the Unix O/S were far more in tune with the wants, needs and problems of customers visiting our facility than the 'sales' folks were. I will expound on that point by saying that I found the engineers more saavy on what the customers were wanting and far more adept at drawing customers out on discussing what they wanted, and what experiences they were having than our 'sales' folks were.

And here is my only point in responding, and from the various responses I am seeing, I think the point is made; it really all depends on the relative 'talent' you have in both camps in the places where you work. Generalizations are always dangerous.

Frankly, dealing with people takes experience dealing with people - period. It makes no difference whether you start out in 'sales', 'marketing', or 'engineering'. What makes the difference is how well one works at honing that rare talent of communication.

Regards
randyvol

Subject: Thanks for reading!
Posted by: Masha (not signed in)
Posted on: Wednesday, December 23, 2009 at 2:01 PM
Message: Dear Simple-Talk Readers,

Thank you all for your comments! Glad this is an interesting topic to many.

@randyvol - I certainly did not mean that engineers do not make good sales people. I am an engineer and made a pretty darn good sales/marketing professional...well after a while at least:)

@BuggyFunBunny - not sure I completely understand your comment, but would certainly agree that the latest recession was probably not caused by engineers.

Thanks all for reading! Happy Holidays!
Masha

Subject: Very interesting
Posted by: Vijay Vittal (not signed in)
Posted on: Friday, December 25, 2009 at 9:00 AM
Message: Thanks Masha, for such an interesting article. Hope this will be helpful for everyone.

Merry Christmas and have happy and prosperous new year..

Subject: Very interesting
Posted by: Nafe Bhoraniya (not signed in)
Posted on: Friday, January 01, 2010 at 6:46 AM
Message: Thanks Masha,it was very interesting article, point #2 & #3 was wonderful. hope this will be helpfull for everyone.

Happy New Year

Subject: You really mastered the three skills in two weeks?
Posted by: shankbond (view profile)
Posted on: Tuesday, April 13, 2010 at 1:32 AM
Message: The article is very interesting for a starter like me.

But the point is; Is it possible to master these skills in a month?

Subject: Excellent!
Posted by: jgcano (view profile)
Posted on: Thursday, April 29, 2010 at 3:54 PM
Message: Hi!

Completely agree with all remarked points. As a computer engineer, I tell you that those skills are very useful for people of all departments.

I forwarded the article to my co-workers.

 





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