I would like to give a prize of an extremely good book to anyone who finds a pretty fruity piece of writing on an IT website. It has to be even funnier than the following, which I spotted recently on the Shine Tech website.

'Shinetech migration group has helped many customers get out of the mud of continuous devotion of software maintenance, over-complex architecture etc in the last four years...'

if you do post us a real cracker, make sure you are easily contactable so we can dispatch a prize to you.

I'll take my prize now, thank you very much.

"Accurate, resourceful, and meticulous designs are the cornerstone of a triumphant business. All of our solutions empowered by automation will generate heightened profitability, magnify return on investment, and truncate total cost of ownership."

Source: hxxp://www.*adv*anti*solut*ions*.com/

(change to http, and remove *s, if you want to see the  actual web site)

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Looking for an advanced SQL Server 2005 book?

Expert SQL Server 2005 Development

Just for starters

http://wiki.java.net/bin/view/Jxta/WhatIsJxta

"The JXTA platform enables application developers to build and deploy interoperable P2P services and and applications across the Internet. The JXTA protocols guarantee interoperability between compliant software components (executing on potentially heterogeneous peer runtimes). Thus JXTA is agnostic to programming languages. "

Yours

Paddy

what about

http://www-03.ibm.com/solutions/itsolutions/doc/jsp/solution/index.jsp

IBM IT infrastructure solutions can rejuvenate your infrastructure so that it becomes more flexible, resilient and responsive. Integrate the latest in computing capabilities — autonomic computing, SOA, virtualization — while leveraging your existing assets. Start with a roadmap. Go at your own pace: a complete solution, or one phase at a time.

.... etc

 

Paddy

 

and another from the Microsoft SQL Server site

http://www.microsoft.com/sql/prodinfo/overview/what-is-sql-server.mspx

"This enables your team to build and deploy cost-effective BI solutions with which they can drive data into every corner of your business through scorecards, dashboards, Web services, and mobile devices."

err yeah..

Paddy

All the entries so far are of a shining quality. However, Paddy deserves a merit award for spotting 'executing on potentially heterogeneous peer runtimes'. I wonder if we ought to see if anybody can illustrate the phrase. A copy of the book, 'Foxearth Brew' will be winging its way to you, once our Editor-in-chief has found out, from you, your address.

I think Paddy also deserves bonus points for "autonomic computing"!

How do these guys come up with this stuff??

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Looking for an advanced SQL Server 2005 book?

Expert SQL Server 2005 Development

Paddy,

Drop me a line with your address and I'll get the book sent out to you! I may even throw in some other Simple-Talk swag, if you're interested (polo shirt, nice pen etc).

Cheers,

Tony.

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Tony Davis
Simple-Talk editor-in-chief
editor@simple-talk.com
[blog] [articles]

Can Adam please have a prize too. His submission was pretty impressiive, and the subject of the Prize Book, brewing beer, should appeal to him.

On a slightly different subject, whilst exploring the glorious bullshit of Offshore Outsourcing organisations, I came across this on Why Outsource To China

'4. Labialisation of laws and government policies

• Government has passed laws tat protect private ownership and intellectual property in country.
• It has also embraced public/private partnerships and domestic/foreign partnerships.'

I know it is bad taste to laugh at mistakes but I love the idea of Labialising of laws by embracing private partnerships. The previous paragraph actually boasts...

'3. Language

• English has attained the level of China's second language.
• Government has made the National English proficiency test mandatory for B.A and M.A.'