The Devils Manual for IT Managers
Part 3: Phrases with which to discourage ideas
This is the third in my series of hints for aspiring IT managers. Here, we give you put-down phrases for discouraging ideas. No IT Manager really likes having to deal with ideas. They tend to destroy the harmony and equilibrium in the workplace. They might help the company, but will bring nothing but odium to your department.
This list should also be useful for anyone determined to get ideas acted on, as all you need to do is to go through the list and make sure you have an antidote, solution or riposte ready.
Note the previous two blogs in the series
- Part 1: How to prevent Initiatives
- Part 2: Irregular verbs for IT managers
- Basically, you're just technology-driven
- That wouldn't fly.
- Do me a one-pager with a facer
- We need a matrix of users against functionality.
- Does it need to link into our existing systems?
- Is it compliant with SOX/ISO9000/FSA?
- get the cost and weight effect
- We need to get our existing suppliers to do it for us
- Give me a timing plan
- Has anyone ever tried it? What are the reference sites?
- How many 'function points' does it have?
- What sort of headcount-reduction can we make?
- I think we need to discuss this further
- I'm not prepared to fight that battle
- Is it in the Budget?
- It is not supported
- It's not strategic
- Lets form a steering committee
- lets pass that on to the Purchase department
- OK, but what about Manufacturing/Marketing/Finance.
- Please document the 'next steps'
- That's contrary to policy
- That's ridiculous
- That's too radical
- That's too superficial, it does not tackle the underlying problem.
- There would be too much network loading
- We haven't the manpower
- We haven't the resources/head count
- We need a user survey
- We need proper documentation for your idea
- We need to get "buy-in' from the group
- We need to get the users to fund that.
- We'll have to get the Security Team involved
- What about the maintenance issues?
- Write me a paper on the subject.
- Yes, we thought of that one a while back.
- You just don't understand the business issues